He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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