she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im part way to drunk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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