When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
