she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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