I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize