morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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