ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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