so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
