See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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