So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
