The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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