@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My butt remains clenched, sir.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
