i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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