Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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