need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
