after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you had me at cake vodka
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
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He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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