i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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