I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
