I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
