I wanna bring you to show and tell
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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