dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
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I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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