And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
