I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
