ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
