she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We talked him into tasing himself.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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