so let's talk penis.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
