Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
God, I missed his penis.
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