Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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