If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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