another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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