There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
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you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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