hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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