I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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