She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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