How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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