Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
