Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
