..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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