I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
