Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
