Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
