I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He felt like a one man threesome
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
