Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
