i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I met the friendliest cop last night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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