well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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