just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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