check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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