I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
