Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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