this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
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My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
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Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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