the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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