Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
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