i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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