do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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