I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
