i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
