Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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