So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
