do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
